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Christian Dating Service Home | Sitemap | About Us | Contact Us | Meet the Staff | Dating Advice |
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Katherine was editor and publisher of a Christian newspaper called The New Life, and contributed articles on many subjects for several web sites, but her first love is exercising one of her spiritual gifts, that of encouraging and coaching others, especially her Christian brothers and sisters. Since God chose marriage as a means of providing a couple and their children the greatest possible life here on Earth, it is Katherine’s desire to coach you and your new love to give each other your very best! Again, we are thrilled to have Katherine Tapani sharing exciting new ideas that will make your personal ad and your communications unforgettable! |
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Christian singles, use this information to avoid a dating disaster:
The Bloodsucker Profile includes people with addictions, those who are too lazy to work and want you to support them, and singles in serious emotional and psychological turmoil, including aberrant, violent behavior. All of these spell trouble with no guarantee that your very best intentions and plans will heal what is so terribly wrong with them. As an example, a recent “Dear Abby” writer was fearful about a man she met on a secular site. Immediately he began telling her he loved her and she felt she had to say she loved him too but she was very uneasy.
To make a long story short, the man threatened a lawsuit and extortion! Obviously the lesson here is not to allow anyone to rush you. Ask yourself how that Christian single could fall in love when they hardly know you. I’ve heard it said that abusive men and a malignant type of woman will do the same thing, in order to marry an easy mark before they have time to think about it, or are advised against this person by family and friends. Again, the beauty of online Christian dating is that you have multitudes of wonderful Christian singles to choose from, most without these serious drawbacks.
Sloppy spelling might sink your online dating “Loveboat!”
As you look through other Christian personals ads, you will spot some obvious flaws, things that will flash a negative image of the writer in the reader’s mind. Take incorrect spelling, for instance. When reading your e-mail don’t you delete e-mails with broken English (or your particular language) and misspellings galore? Most come from Nigeria or elsewhere and promise great riches, lottery bonanzas, and much more. So savvy web surfers toss them out immediately, without reading them. This is true of sloppy spelling on the one page you would want to be perfect! Why go to the trouble of uploading a photo and answering all the questions and buying a month’s subscription or more on your credit card and then allowing an ungrammatical Christian personals ad to destroy the good impression you want to make? Trust me, many people do care about spelling and grammar. But don’t despair if your language skills need some work! Find a friend who can help you spot mistakes, and use your spell check to correct spelling. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. People are pleased to assist you and it is a nice compliment to them to be asked, too. Remember, the Christian personals profile is the only means the single seeking love has to evaluate you, to see if you are a good choice for them. Make a great first impression! I am not suggesting that you sound like a scholar if you are not. As you get acquainted with an interested single, you can show them your more casual side. Perhaps they feel the same way too!
You have seen that this Christian dating site has carefully chosen their essay questions so that you will not give one word answers, but will reveal yourself in your answers as you want others to see you. This is a built in guard against a terse, uninspiring description of yourself and all you have to offer. And remember, you may write as long and thorough an essay about yourself as you wish. We do not limit the space you have to tell someone special about yourself, unlike some other Christian singles dating services. Sometimes it pays to answer the profile questions on paper first, and then “sleep on it.” That way, you will be more aware of sentences that seem to go nowhere, and words you over use, etc. If you like what you have written, then you can use your notes to type your profile, and it will be a breeze to introduce yourself to the world of Christian singles!
Christian single man: Create a tantalizing personals ad she will love!
First, consider the photo that will accompany your essay/profile. Is it blurry, or shot from a distance? (Remember the phony picture of Big Foot running through the woods?) Well, be determined to do better! How about a recent shot of your face and upper body, with your eyes, the window to your soul, looking straight into the camera, so that a lovely Christian woman can look into your eyes the first moment she sees you. Do you see the possibilities here? Also consider your body language, posture, and what you are wearing. A nice shirt or sweater can make you look more approachable and open than a three piece suit but you be the judge of that. Remember too, that you are appealing to a Christian woman, so do be a little vulnerable. (You only have to act tough around the guys.) She may not be looking for a metro-sexual, but let her know you are easy to talk to. A nice smile, warm and friendly, will melt her heart.
If you excel in something, like telling funny stories or cooking great meals, instead of bragging, you still can make her aware of your special qualities and abilities by saying “My friends tell me I’m a great cook” or “I’ve been told that I make people happy.” This way you are not blowing your own horn but getting your message across anyway. Be sure to tell her about your relationship with Christ and do mention recent Christian books, music, videos, etc. that you enjoy.
It doesn’t hurt to let her know what you find desirable in a woman, but be careful not to be so specific that only one girl in a hundred would fit your description. If you say you are looking for someone between 5’ and 5’3” you could rule out some great gals. Nevertheless, be specific in describing the attributes and personality type that really matter to you. Do you want to find a woman who loves your favorite pastime, sport, or hobby? You do have to be true to yourself, and let her know your dreams of a perfect Christian wife. Remember, thousands of wonderful Christian girls will be reading your personals ad, and with those numbers, you can afford to be specific about the things that really matter to you.
A polite gentlemanly approach will win her heart. She has every right to expect you will treat her as the unique treasure she is. Respect is as important to a woman as it is to a man. Likewise, watch for the Christian woman who respects you as well, and shows genuine interest in how you feel about things and about what you enjoy. If a girl does nothing but talk about herself, especially after you have begun emailing, she is either too into herself, or she is nervous about asking you certain questions. Offer some facts or interesting tidbits about yourself, and see if that opens the flood gates to many questions! (She may have been afraid to seem too forward or nosy or who knows.) But we’re getting ahead of ourselves here. In your Christian personals ad, show her your zest for life, your sense of humor, your pride in work well done, accomplishments, and plans for the future with the Christian girl of your dreams.
And last but not least, remember, you are selling something very special, yourself. So try to “close the deal” so to speak and encourage her to respond to your ad now! This should not be pushy or bossy, but I have confidence that you can finesse closing this deal by saying something like, “Won’t you please contact me now so we can begin our friendship by email?” Please accept your Christian dating coach’s wishes for a marriage made in heaven!
Christian single woman: Write a personals ad he will read over and over!
Now that you’ve read the men’s advice (and I know you did because if I hadn’t written it I would have peeked too! Enquiring female minds want to know, don’t you agree?) But much of the advice for those wonderful Christian men also applies to us as well. He too is a unique treasure, someone to be respected and loved. And all the tips about correct spelling, a polite and engaging description of yourself and the kind of man you would like to meet will put you at a great advantage over those who have not spent time and effort making their personals ad first class!
A word of encouragement, Christian single women; online Christian dating members are predominantly men! The ratio of men to women members is gradually changing and evening out, but you still have far more quality men to choose from than they do women. This is the ideal place to shop, ladies, where you can get quality as well as quantity! And remember, new members are constantly being added to the membership, giving you even more choice. What a deal!
But let’s begin with the photo you plan to use in your personals ad. Some Christian women put a lot of thought in what they will wear and whether they want hair or makeup changes, if they are ready to try something new. Whatever the case, Christian single, please do not use a blurred photo, or one looking away from the camera. You want to make eye contact with him by looking into the camera and while you do so, think of the man you would love to meet, and express that joy in your eyes and face when the picture is taken. You will notice that your eyes will have a special softness and your face a joyful expression. If you wear glasses, you might try photos with and without the glasses, since he may not be able to see your eyes clearly if you wear them. Try different poses and look at some professional photography to get ideas and inspiration. If a friend is taking photos of you, take advantage of the background. A beautiful scenic view, nature in full bloom, or even a picture with a dog or something fuzzy with an adorable face and four legs will say a lot about you If you want a man who loves dogs, borrow a friend’s dog for a happy picture of both of you. (You don’t have to pretend the canine is yours.) Of course, many Christian singles have discovered the astonishing benefits of using a pet to start conversations with the opposite sex, and meet new people. Any dog worth his salt will play the role of matchmaker to the hilt. All he wants is attention and his furry body will wag all over as both of you pet and pamper him. And since he is the center of attention, neither of you will feel uncomfortable, trying to make conversation. But I digress. Romps with a four-legged friend will come later. But if you are a pet lover, it doesn’t hurt to have one in your picture, especially one you send him later.
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